One Week to Go.

One week to go...!

It's funny. I have lately found myself rather absurdly preoccupied with thoughts of what I could possibly write to you all in this final week. I really am not so illusioned with self-importance that I believe such anxiety is necessary. It's just that it's important to me to say something real, something to explain how truly thankful I am for support from so many outstanding people, to offer a little insight into my mindset going into this thing, to capture the spirit of it all, and by extension, share it with you...

Maybe I'm too ambitious. ; )

But nevertheless...I think I've come up with something that does in fact do a pretty good job of all the aforementioned.

A theme song, if you will.

What you should know about it, and about what it means to me:

Last week felt long. I am someone who believes very much in the goodness of my fellow human beings. It is not a naive outlook. It is, rather, a thoroughly examined, turned over and about, and decided upon conclusion very deeply rooted in the part of me that makes me me. I have this funny- sometimes wonderful, sometimes disastrous- thing where I really feel a kind of kinship with...everyone. As a result, I have high expectations, and as a result of these expectations, I am vulnerable to disappointment. When people, any of them, anywhere, act in ways that are less than their best, I tend to take it personally- like my teammates- who I love and believe in- are letting me down. Last week seemed particularly chock full of instances where I felt disappointed in people. And I let that get me down, and as despair tends to do an excellent job of propagating further despair, it wasn't too long before I had a little stormcloud over my head. [Didn't you guys see it???! And you thought all that rain had something to do with water vapor and relative humidity...ha.]

Anyway. That's where my theme song comes in. On Friday I was walking down Lexington Avenue. I try, on principle, to resist the urge to be 'plugged in' all the time, but some days, an Ipod and a personal soundtrack just feel right. Friday was one such day. So again, there I am, sulking down Lexington Avenue, indulging in my own little childish drama, feeling sorry about the storm cloud I've chosen to shroud myself in. And suddenly, into my ears, comes this really terrible synthetic 80s sound...except it's not terrible, it's out-frickin-standing...and right then, there's just this confluence of some part of me deciding sulking quite frankly sucks, that all these people are trying to be happy too, that the world is good and we're in it together...

Good song, eh?

Think about it.
There must be higher love.
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above.
Without it, life is wasted time.
Look inside your heart; I'll look inside mine.

Things look so bad
everywhere in this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind. And we try to see, falling behind in what could be.

Bring me a higher love, bring me a higher love.
Bring me a higher love -where's that higher love I keep thinking of?

World's are turning.
And we're just hanging on
Facing our fear, and standing out there alone.

A yearning.
And it's real to me.

There must be someone who's feeling for me.

Things look so bad
everywhere in this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind. And we try to see, falling behind in what could be.

Bring me a higher love, bring me a higher love.
Bring me a higher love - I could rise above on a higher love.

I will wait for it
I'm not too late for it.
Until then I'll sing my song
to cheer the night along.

I could light the night up with my soul on fire
I could make the sun shine from pure desire.
Let me feel that love come over me
let me feel how strong it could be...

Just try to listen to it without feeling a little bit...I don't know...good. Better about the world. Seriously, I think it's a real challenge. (Actually, I take it back. Don't do it. I don't want to be responsible for you all trying to not feel good about the world...)

I don't know what it is about the song, or what it was about last week. It may very well have more to do with my tapering- less miles, more resting, which equals less endorphines and more *amusing* mood swings, than anything else, or maybe not.

It could be that it really was sort of a long week, that some of the tough stuff our world is going through right now is sad, but that knowing in your heart that people will rise above, that there is 'higher love', is really something strong and powerful.

It sounds trite and idealistic, I know, and maybe even a little naive. Naivety is a funny term- we often act as though our heads and hearts are in opposition, and if we're going to really use our heads, we can't use our hearts, or vice versa. I think this is an utter and complete fallacy. Yes, use your head for sure. If you fail to do that, you probably just won't ever get much done, and certainly not very efficiently. But what Steve Winwood is singing about is heart, and I believe heart is that unspeakable part of what's in our head that takes us to higher ground. Heart is what enables us to get through that which our rational mind will refuse to dream.


Don't ever forget your heart.


Anyway. Long story short- or, uh, too late for that I guess- it's been all crazy 'round here lately, but with a week to go, and my new friend Steve Winwood, it's all coming together...

Seven days, tapering ensuing, and I feel strong, in body, heart and mind. This week I'll be getting all my coconut water, pedialyte, Clif bars, shoes, socks, blister kit, etc. packed and ready to go; next Monday my dad will get here and Tuesday morning I'll set out...here we go, giddy up.

In the past three months, step by step, mile by mile, we have raised over $7,000 for the Central Asia Institute. That shows real heart, and I am proud of us. 209 miles of my journey have been sponsored, and I feel inspired by each and every one of those sponsors. I am looking forward to turning the strength I feel from the thought of what we've accomplished into action.

Check back on the blog next week for pictures and updates from out on the road...

And, of course, if you still want to, or if you know of family and friends who would like to be a part of this journey, there's still time to donate...

Love in action,

Kelsey